Leslie Steiner/ Why domestic violence victims don’t leave/ 2012
Why domestic violence victims don’t leave is a question frequent asked and the answer, very few people understand. Leslie Steiner is a domestic violence victim, and survivor who shared her story through her book “ Crazy Love”. Steiner shares her story while correcting misconceptions to reveal how to break the stigma surrounding domestic violence. Steiner begins her talk by illustrating her life to explain that domestic violence can happen to anyone despite race, education, and socioeconomic class. Women ages 16-24 are three times as likely to be victims of domestic violence compared to women of other ages. Also, over 500 women ages 16-24 are killed every year in America as a result of domestic violence. Steiner continues to correct misconceptions that anyone could be an abuser even seemingly normal men. She tells the story of how her and her now ex-husband Connor met and explained to the audience that he was the most supporting person in her life and that he truly believed in her. Later in the relationship Connor had convinced her to move from new York to a small town in New England to isolate her from friends and family. However, Connor explained it as starting the rest of their lives together, he made it seem like a mutual decision rather than a controlling one. Slowly, Connor began to show signs of violence just days before their wedding. Connor apologized and explained he was just stressed out by the wedding. For the next two years Connor continued to beat her multiple times a week. She explains she stayed because she wasn’t aware that he was beating her, she instead saw herself as a strong woman who can help her husband get rid of his demons. Steiner says she was able to leave because she broke the silence and told everyone from the police to her neighbors, however, every victim is not as lucky as she was.
Why do we stay is a question most people are not able to fully understand. In order to save the lives of other women, more victims should break the silence as Steiner did, which can be achieved through support and awareness. Most women stay in abusive relationships because it is actually safer for them. Over 70% of domestic violence victims are killed after they had already ended their relationship. The best way to survive a domestic violence situation is to break the silence and tell anyone that can listen in order to receive the help that you deserve. Through awareness and support victims can know they are not alone and by standards can learn to help someone in need. One in three women are being abused as you read this. If society could shine the spotlight on domestic violence and not keep abuse in the dark we could show victims a safe way out.
-AH
Comments