The Power of Women’s Anger Ted Talk by: Soraya Chemaly (2018)
Soraya Chemaly talks about how girls are taught that anger should be silenced. She says that anger is a good emotion, it is not good or bad but in most cultures anger is reserved for boys or men. Anger is not a feeling for girls so when they grow up, women penalize anger. Anger is seen as non-feminine. Chemaly says that girls who express anger are seen as negative. They are seen as spoiled, shrill, nags, or high-maintenance. Anger tends to convey what is important to us and Soraya Chemaly says that when we express our feelings in this way people tend to get angry at us for being angry. Chemaly says “anger confirms masculinity and it confounds femininity.” Women are looked down on when they use anger even if they use it as a way to defend and protect themselves. Girls are taught to keep the peace even if it harms them rather than to use anger to fix issues. Teaching girls that boys can be angry but they cannot, teaches them that boys can do what they want. Boys can run around and say what they want, how they want without worrying about how that affects others. Girls are raised to be polite and to constantly worry about what they do and say and how it will affect others, and if it will bring harm to others they are taught to not do or say that thing regardless if it harms the girl.
I chose to watch this Ted Talk because I wanted to know how she talked about women and anger. Growing up, I was told to be quiet, not to raise my voice, not to be so emotional and to not be so angry. Soraya Chemaly’s Ted Talk showed me that I am not the only one who was raised this way. In fact, most girls are raised this way. When Chemaly said “we can be angry as long as we stay in our lanes” that reminded me of always being told to “chill out” when I tried to stand up for myself or share my opinions. Women are taught growing up and are raised not to show anger and because of this when women do show anger they are looked down on. They are seen as crazy or too bold or as wanting too much. In Carina Chocano’s essay “We Have a Heroine Problem” Chocano says that anytime a woman is seen as powerful, society immediately needs to knock her down and makes her look like a villain. Chemaly says that, “We should be making people comfortable with the discomfort they feel when women say no unapologetically.” She is saying that women need to start standing up for themselves so often that it comes to the point that men are used to it. They may not be happy with it but they are much more used to it. Soraya Chemaly ended her talk by saying, “societies that don’t respect women’s anger, don’t respect women” and I agree. Anger is a natural feeling that everyone feels and that everyone needs to let out sometimes. Women deserve to feel their anger just like men.
AB
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